Unlock your innate power
WHAT YOU GIVE YOUR ATTENTION TO AFFECT HOW YOU FEEL
WHAT YOU GIVE YOUR ATTENTION TO AFFECT HOW YOU FEEL
Do you focus on what you want to create or the lack thereof?
Not sure, check in with how you feel when you think of what you want.
Are you feeling excited, motivated and curious?
OR
Exhausted, unmotivated and hopeless?
PRACTISE FEELING HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL
PRACTISE FEELING HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL
Did you know that just like you can exercise a muscle, you can practise feeling a feeling.
Why is this beneficial?
ARE YOU FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS OR YOUR FEARS?
ARE YOU FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS OR YOUR FEARS?
We can end up being driven by fear as a result of a traumatic experience, unrealistic expectations or if we grow up in a highly controlled environment.
Fear makes us miss out on great opportunities because we are afraid to venture out. We play it safe, avoid risks and do our best to maintain the status quo.
Fear is a self-imposed prison that makes you play small which keeps you from being the full version of you. Fear is a push away from the unwanted instead of a pull towards the wanted.
For survival, fear has been a crucial feeling. However the things we are afraid of today are rarely life threatening.
ANGER AND RESENTMENT
ANGER AND RESENTMENT
You notice if anger and resentments are your drivers if you hold on to hurts and never work to get over them. Instead of releasing your pain through forgiveness, you replay the mental movie of the event in your mind over and over again.
It shows up as an internal build up of resentment or as an external act out projecting your anger on others. Both responses are unhelpful and unhealthy.
Continuing to stew in pain and perpetuate any past hurt always hurts YOU more than the person you resent.
Those who have hurt you in the past can not continue to hurt you now UNLESS YOU hold onto the pain through resentment and reliving the memory of the past. Your bitterness only hurts yourself.
Forgiveness means LEAVING the past in the past. To not hold it against someone, including yourself.
That was then, now is now.
Life gets easier, lighter and fresher when you leave the past in the past. Free yourself from fixed expectations formed from the past. Stay open and curious to what this moment brings you.
Every moment offers an opportunity to be someone new, do something different and start fresh.
Are you taking it?
#Forgiveness #motivation #lifecoaching #personaldevelopment #anger #releasingthepast #past #future
GUILT AS YOUR DRIVER
You know that guilt is your driver when you try to run 🏃🏼♀️ away from regrets and hide from 🙈 your shame.
Manipulated by your memories. Allowing your past to control your future. Unconsciously punishing yourself by self-sabotaging opportunities for success.
Sure, you are a product of your past but you don’t have to be a prisoner of it.
Give yourself a FRESH START 🛫 and release yourself from the past by leaving it in the past. REWRITE your story.
PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE
PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE
DRIVE = Guide, control, direct
What drives you?
Are you driven by:
Love
Joy
Expansion
or by
Problems
Pressure
Deadlines
Your choice of fuel affects how you feel, the actions you take and the result you produce.
IT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENS THAT DETERMINE YOUR LIFE
It’s not what happens that determines your life, it’s what you do with it. What happens, happens to all of us. What you do with it is up to you. The meaning you give it is up to you.
This morning as I was on my way to enter the security gate to catch my 07:00 flight. A red light flashed as I scanned my boarding pass. The screen read “flight cancelled”.
What?! Nooooo! Really?! Come on!!
A million thoughts were racing through my head as I made my way over to the ticket counter. Why my flight, why didn’t I check before I left home, how could they…
I pulled up my phone to check what alternatives I had. All last minute flights were 3x the price, with a stop and leaving first in the afternoon. Meaning I will loose both the hole day and waste money.
I checked my email and saw that I was rebooked on a pm flight with a stop in Venice, which made no sense as I was travelling North.
As I stood in the queue waiting for the customer before me to finish, I closed my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and reminded myself that all the energy I spent on getting irritated over the situation was a waste of time as I could not change it and it did not help me move forward. Then I heard a voice behind me asking if she could assist me.
SUCCESS STARTS WITH MANAGING YOUR MIND
Your THOUGHTS generate your FEELINGS which drive your ACTIONS which create your RESULT.
So if you don’t like the RESULT you produce, you first need to understand what THOUGHTS that creates it.
It’s called the Model of life:
Circumstance - always neutral
Thought - gives our circumstances a positive or negative meaning
Feeling - generated by our thoughts about our circumstance
Actions - driven by our emotions
Results - created from our actions or non actions
SURROUNDED BY MAGIC
Society is predominantly oriented towards what’s wrong. We criticise, focus on what we don’t like.
We predominantly worry instead of predominantly knowing that all is well.
What if you just for one day give more of your attention to what makes you feel good?
What if you made a conscious decision to look for what you want to see. Intentionally look for the magic in your everyday life:
Fresh air
Birds
Flowers
Someone returning a smile
LIFE MIRROR HOW YOU FEEL
How you feel will create a lens which you view the world through:
When you are in love, life presents loving things to you.
When you are irritated, all you see are annoying things.
When you are anxious, there are alarming things everywhere.
Your feelings send signals to your brain to hone in on things that match with how you feel. Now you have proof that justifies how you feel, which intensifies the feeling.
Your brain is more interested in being right, than being happy and will go on a hunt for whatever YOU ASK it to find.
MOTIVATIONAL TRIAD - OUT OF DATE
Our brains top 3 priorities:
Avoid pain
Seek pleasure
Conserve energy
Used to help us survive but are today preventing us from thriving.
It's no longer enough to live a life by default if you would like to have an above average life.
TRUE SATISFACTION
TRUE SATISFACTION
There are two kinds of pleasures:
Short term - False pleasure
Long term - True satisfaction
The instant gratifications, short term, is when you CONSUME while delayed gratification, long term, is when you CREATE.
Consumption only lights up your dopamine centre temporally and makes you want more and more. Your dopamine receptors get less and less sensitive to the external stimuli → leading you to need bigger and bigger does to get the same dopamine hit.
Once the dopamine spike wears off you don't feel so good. This is why we call it false pleasure.
INSTANT GRATIFICATION
INSTANT GRATIFICATION
Are you more interested in eating a Snickers bar than working on getting a 6 pack?
Makes total sense.
The Snicker gives you pleasure right here and now vs building a great body which takes time and effort and will only be enjoyed in the future.
Don't be too harsh on yourself if you have a tendency to go for the Snickers bar, it's the basic instinct to put a higher value on instant rather than delayed gratification.
However, there are tricks that you can do to bring the gratification forward which will light up the dopamine centre in your brain to reinforce a positive connection between the desired behaviour and the reward.
CONSERVE ENERGY
We are lazy by nature.
Always looking for the least effort option. Trying to reach for shortcuts. For the most efficient way.
This allows us to create habits which free up energy that can be used elsewhere.
However it also has us rethink old thoughts and repeat past behaviour. Meaning we stay the same.
Where in your life are you staying the same even though you would prefer a change?
AVOID PAIN
Our survival brain is doing its best to keep you safe.
It sees the world as a dangerous place and is constantly scanning your environment for threats.
As it has learned to survive under the current circumstances, it will do its best to keep you repeating the same old patterns of behaviour as this feels safe for the brain.
This part of the brain is against any changes in life.
MOTIVATIONAL TRIAD
• Avoid pain
• Seek pleasure
• Conserve energy
These are your brain's top 3 priorities. They used to help you survive but are not the recipe for success, happiness and growth.
If you are more motivated to lay on the coach, eating popcorn and watching Netflix your brain is working as it should.
Good vs Bad Habits
When we talk about change, we really talk about removing old habits and replacing them with new better ones. If you think through what habits you perform on a regular basis I’m sure you pretty quickly can divide them in good vs bad habits. More or less all behaviour processes multiple outcomes across times:
Immediate outcome
Ultimate outcome