Unlock your innate power
ANGER AND RESENTMENT
ANGER AND RESENTMENT
You notice if anger and resentments are your drivers if you hold on to hurts and never work to get over them. Instead of releasing your pain through forgiveness, you replay the mental movie of the event in your mind over and over again.
It shows up as an internal build up of resentment or as an external act out projecting your anger on others. Both responses are unhelpful and unhealthy.
Continuing to stew in pain and perpetuate any past hurt always hurts YOU more than the person you resent.
Those who have hurt you in the past can not continue to hurt you now UNLESS YOU hold onto the pain through resentment and reliving the memory of the past. Your bitterness only hurts yourself.
Forgiveness means LEAVING the past in the past. To not hold it against someone, including yourself.
That was then, now is now.
Life gets easier, lighter and fresher when you leave the past in the past. Free yourself from fixed expectations formed from the past. Stay open and curious to what this moment brings you.
Every moment offers an opportunity to be someone new, do something different and start fresh.
Are you taking it?
#Forgiveness #motivation #lifecoaching #personaldevelopment #anger #releasingthepast #past #future
PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE
PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE
DRIVE = Guide, control, direct
What drives you?
Are you driven by:
Love
Joy
Expansion
or by
Problems
Pressure
Deadlines
Your choice of fuel affects how you feel, the actions you take and the result you produce.
SUCCESS STARTS WITH MANAGING YOUR MIND
Your THOUGHTS generate your FEELINGS which drive your ACTIONS which create your RESULT.
So if you don’t like the RESULT you produce, you first need to understand what THOUGHTS that creates it.
It’s called the Model of life:
Circumstance - always neutral
Thought - gives our circumstances a positive or negative meaning
Feeling - generated by our thoughts about our circumstance
Actions - driven by our emotions
Results - created from our actions or non actions
LIFE MIRROR HOW YOU FEEL
How you feel will create a lens which you view the world through:
When you are in love, life presents loving things to you.
When you are irritated, all you see are annoying things.
When you are anxious, there are alarming things everywhere.
Your feelings send signals to your brain to hone in on things that match with how you feel. Now you have proof that justifies how you feel, which intensifies the feeling.
Your brain is more interested in being right, than being happy and will go on a hunt for whatever YOU ASK it to find.
MOTIVATIONAL TRIAD - OUT OF DATE
Our brains top 3 priorities:
Avoid pain
Seek pleasure
Conserve energy
Used to help us survive but are today preventing us from thriving.
It's no longer enough to live a life by default if you would like to have an above average life.
INSTANT GRATIFICATION
INSTANT GRATIFICATION
Are you more interested in eating a Snickers bar than working on getting a 6 pack?
Makes total sense.
The Snicker gives you pleasure right here and now vs building a great body which takes time and effort and will only be enjoyed in the future.
Don't be too harsh on yourself if you have a tendency to go for the Snickers bar, it's the basic instinct to put a higher value on instant rather than delayed gratification.
However, there are tricks that you can do to bring the gratification forward which will light up the dopamine centre in your brain to reinforce a positive connection between the desired behaviour and the reward.
CONSERVE ENERGY
We are lazy by nature.
Always looking for the least effort option. Trying to reach for shortcuts. For the most efficient way.
This allows us to create habits which free up energy that can be used elsewhere.
However it also has us rethink old thoughts and repeat past behaviour. Meaning we stay the same.
Where in your life are you staying the same even though you would prefer a change?
AVOID PAIN
Our survival brain is doing its best to keep you safe.
It sees the world as a dangerous place and is constantly scanning your environment for threats.
As it has learned to survive under the current circumstances, it will do its best to keep you repeating the same old patterns of behaviour as this feels safe for the brain.
This part of the brain is against any changes in life.
MOTIVATIONAL TRIAD
• Avoid pain
• Seek pleasure
• Conserve energy
These are your brain's top 3 priorities. They used to help you survive but are not the recipe for success, happiness and growth.
If you are more motivated to lay on the coach, eating popcorn and watching Netflix your brain is working as it should.
FROM OVERWHELMED TO IN CONTROL
FROM OVERWHELMED TO IN CONTROL
I caught myself a few weeks ago, not wanting to get out of bed. Mondays are usually my favourite day as it’s a fresh start, full of new opportunities but this morning I was hitting snooze, scrolling my phone and just could not find the motivation to get up.
I dragged myself to open the laptop and got hit with 86 unread emails, a full calendar, g-chats blinking and tasks that were due. I could feel my throat tighten and my heart racing. I felt apathetic.
For a good 15 min I was just staring at my screen, not knowing where to begin. I completed the morning huddle, then I just sat there staring out through the window.
I was feeling overwhelmed, not from everything that was on my plate but from the feeling of having lost control. The truth was that I did not know the status of the different projects that I was working on. My priorities had all been mashed together.
CREATE FROM YOUR FUTURE NOT YOUR PAST
Our brains are prediction machines and are constantly using information from past experience to predict what the future will hold.
If we have had a bad experience in the past, we are quick to project that onto a future experience.
But what if your past has nothing to do with your future?
What if you could shift your focus and rather than looking at what is already created, start looking at what you WANT TO CREATE. What if you were to use your imagination and construct an ideal vision of your future and create from there?
How would your life be different?
CHRONIC PROCRASTINATOR?
CHRONIC PROCRASTINATOR?
Are you one of those who have always been a procrastinator? Is this just a part of your identity and there is no way to change it?
It’s crucial to understand:How you identify yourself and how you identify your life will affect how you show up in it.
So, when you hear yourself saying:
• I’m really busy
• It’s always been like that
• That’s just the way I am
These words affect your productivity and what you’re able to do in the world. They PUT A CAP on what’s possible for you.
EVERYTHING HAS TWO SIDES: THE WANTED AND THE UNWANTED
The side that has your attention will affect how you feel. Can you challenge yourself to find the wanted in the unwanted situation?
When you change the way you look at things, the thing you look at changes.
#change #perspective #newperspective
Good vs Bad Habits
When we talk about change, we really talk about removing old habits and replacing them with new better ones. If you think through what habits you perform on a regular basis I’m sure you pretty quickly can divide them in good vs bad habits. More or less all behaviour processes multiple outcomes across times:
Immediate outcome
Ultimate outcome